Procrastination Calculator
A deliberately unscientific projection of when you'll actually get around to that thing on your list. We've all been there.
Last updated
Results are for fun only, please don't make major life or financial decisions based on a website that also has a dog years calculator.
How this works
Also not real math, but it commits to the bit. The calculator takes how long the task has already been sitting there, then extrapolates forward at that same pace, scaled down the more urgent you say it is and whether you've at least thought about it today. A task sitting for 12 days at "eventually" urgency projects out a lot further than one you rated a 9 that you thought about this morning. Same inputs always produce the same projected date, so feel free to rerun it after you actually start.
Here's the "formula", such as it is. Take the number of days the task has been sitting there, multiply it by an urgency factor that runs from 5 at "eventually" down to 0.5 at "was due yesterday", then shave off another 15% if you've thought about the task at all today. Plug in 12 days at "eventually" urgency, not thought about today, and you get 12 times 5, times 1, which is 60 extra days tacked onto today's date. Bump the urgency all the way to "was due yesterday" instead and that same 12-day task only projects out 6 more days, because the urgency factor drops to 0.5. Rate it "extremely urgent" and say you already thought about it today, and the math lands on 12 times 1 times 0.85, or about 10 extra days, noticeably sooner than the baseline pace would suggest.
The one-line commentary under your result isn't random each time, it's picked deterministically from a list of 10 lines based on the exact combination of days, urgency, and whether you've thought about it today. Change any one of those three inputs and you'll likely land on a different line. Change nothing, and you'll get the same slightly judgmental sentence every time, which feels appropriate for a task you still haven't done.
Frequently asked questions
Is this based on real procrastination science?
No, not even a little. It's a made-up formula that multiplies how long a task has been waiting by an urgency scaling factor, dressed up to look like a calculator. There's no psychology research behind the numbers, it's here purely for a laugh, not as productivity advice.
Why does marking a task as more urgent move the date sooner?
The urgency slider controls a multiplier that shrinks as you drag it toward "was due yesterday", running from 5 at the lowest setting down to 0.5 at the highest. That multiplier gets applied to how many days the task has already been sitting there, so higher urgency always projects a nearer completion date for the same number of days waited.
Does saying I've thought about it today actually change the result?
Yes, slightly. Answering "yes" applies a 15% reduction to the projected extra days compared to answering "no". It's a small nudge, not a dramatic one, on the theory that even a moment of thinking about a task counts for a little something.
Will I get a different date if I run it again with the same answers?
No, the underlying math is deterministic, the same days, urgency, and thought-about-it answer will always produce the same number of extra days added from today. The actual calendar date will shift day to day simply because it's counting forward from whatever "today" is when you run it.
What determines the joke line under my result?
It's chosen from a fixed list of 10 lines using a simple hash of your exact days, urgency, and thought-about-it inputs, so the same combination always lands on the same line. Change any single input, even by one urgency point, and you'll often get bumped to a different one.
Should I actually plan around the date this gives me?
Please don't. This is a joke calculator meant to be funny about procrastination, not a real productivity or scheduling tool, and the site says as much right under your result. If you need an actual plan, this is a good moment to go do the task instead of calculating around it.